windows, problems? Hannah is a digital marketer with extensive experience in blogging and B2B software. After all, it’s better to laugh about technology than to throw your computer--or anything else--off a cyber cliff. linux moving forward, windows always falling over. Louis V. Gerstner, Jr. 8. With a little bit of practice, you can be a popular funny guest at parties. Try your hand with these top 10 funny quotes. Funny Quotes Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 8,195 “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. ", R. Buckminster Fuller: “I just invent. Microsoft just bought out Hoover vacuum cleaners. 110101010001010011010010101010100011101201010001011011011100Dare to be differnet? very funny.My favorite is:"Beat the computer!Program your life!" "640k ought to be enough for everyone", On a clear disk you can seek forever.There's a worldwide market for 5 computers - IBM. James H. Clark. ", C.P. The misfits. Trojans They Are On Your Computer Funny Poster. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. For everything else, there's Google." Home. ", Bill Gates: "The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. H lp! “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”. :-). Menu Search John von Neumann, circa 1960. When I was writing Neuromancer, it was wonderful to be able to tie a lot of these interests into the computer metaphor. But these quotes about IT, tech and computer systems remind us that technical difficulties are a universal experience and there is some humor to be found. "Some things Man was never meant to know. Ok And Now You Will Do Funny Computer Clipart. ", Richard Buckminster Fuller: “Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them.”, Author Unknown: "The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. Bush. If u do not have an Email... U do not exist !!! Go to table of contents. God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER. ", Mike Trout: "Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage. A keyboard was a piano. geeks; they'll help you fix your computer". It is about living. A program was a TV show. ", Max Frisch: "Technology…the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it. ", @General FailureYou forgot me.Major Error. Bring me an 8-year old! Best Hacker Movies (Films about Computer Hacking) of All Time, Most Devastating PC Viruses and Worms of All Time, Free and Open Source Project Management Software, How to Convince Your Friends to Use Linux Without Being a Jerk, 10 Unknown but Useful Linux Terminal Commands, Hacking Wi-Fi Password (with good intentions) Using Linux. The misfits. Windows NT, actually means Windows Nice Try. ", Joseph Campbell: "Is the system going to flatten you out and deny you your humanity, or are you going to be able to make use of the system to the attainment of human purposes? We love our technology--until it turns on us. When your computer starts falling apart, stop hitting it with a Hammer! ?human: its me!!! No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. ", Seymour Cray: “The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late.”, Dave Barry: “Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the ‘most reliable Windows ever.‘ To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ‘the most articulate vegetable ever.‘", J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books: "Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain. Bri Edwards (2/13/2019 11:45:00 AM) yes, i plan to put this into my (usually monthly) Showcase of PH poems. LOL! Report Reply. Anonymous. But that's not what it's about. May 12, 2016 - Tech Support Humor for IT professionals & the rest of us!. 50. Sydney J. Harris: "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers." On the most basic level, computers in my books are simply a metaphor for human memory: I'm interested in the hows and whys of memory, the ways it defines who and what we are, in how easily memory is subject to revision. ASCII as stupid question and get a even stupid ANSI. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. The one about object oriented code, so true its almost not funny.=), Are you sure you want to send 'Internet' to the Recycle Bin ? Memory … We hope these funny Christmas quotes keep you laughing until the New Year! Whether you’re looking for funny quotes just for a laugh, to give a toast, or to lighten the mood at a public speaking event, you’ve come to the right place. Having Binary Problems I Feel Bad For You Son I Got 1100011 Problems And A Bit Ain't One Funny Computer Meme … “Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. _Yes_ No, Ubuntu is an ancient African word, meaning "can't configure Debian", Re: 34. 25 (More) Funny Computer Quotes byJun-October 31, 2019-No comments I have been reading some of my old posts here and noticed one that is still quite popular simply because a lot of us love humor. Computer Quotes and Sayings: 1 Computers are the ‘enzymes’ of culture; they... 2 Computing is kind of a mess. The rebels. Programming is the art of finding new and unexpected ways of getting the wrong answer. The Keys to Writing a Company Vision Statement, Need a Good Laugh? The machine easily masters the grim and the dumb. These quotes are from a variety of famous business leaders, writers, entertainers, politicians, experts, entrepreneurs, and other famous and not-so-famous people. Hehehe... "Programmers tend to solve problems, but in the other hand they're the one whose making their own problem". 9. Rabbit Playing Game Funny Computer. ", Nicholas P. Negroponte: "It's not computer literacy that we should be working on, but sort of human literacy. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Part 3. !The Only program that works perfectly every time..... Any fool can write a blog, and most of them do. Hi,I had translated it in Hindi and posted it here:http://raviratlami.blogspot.com/2010/02/50.htmlHope, it is OK with you.Great collection. linux, problems? - Richard Lerner To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. A. Milne. number 10: "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"The th1s should be 7h15 the t0 needs to be 70.Consistency ... "The computer may beat me in chess, but it's no match for me in kick-boxing." “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Toby Haynes - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote and raise you a 1981 one. You don’t need curtains for computers.” Funny Computer Jokes. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. is kind of outdated thanks to wikileaks :-). 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An application was for employment. Process makes you more efficient. "Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders..", "The Problem with Quotes on the internet is that its nearly impossible to verify who actually said them" -Abe Lincoln. Nothing prepared me for being this awesome. damn i really need to get out more, i understood all of them :/. VIRUS!!!! And at some time or another, technological failures have happened to all of us. If at first you don't succeed, force it! Warren G. Bennis: "The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man, and a dog. Last Updated: 8th July 2020. In a world without walls or fences who needs Windows or Gates. Then I wait until man comes around to needing what I've invented.”, Albert Einstein: "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. ", Lewis Mumford: "Western society has accepted as unquestionable a technological imperative that is quite as arbitrary as the most primitive taboo: not merely the duty to foster invention and constantly to create technological novelties, but equally the duty to surrender to these novelties unconditionally, just because they are offered, without respect to their human consequences. A computer is a device that makes it possible to make millions of mistakes a second. ", Author Unknown: "If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. in a life without walls, who needs Windows? ", Jeff Pesis: “Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.”, Author Unknown: "The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord. Funny quotes for all. Nicholas Negroponte. Who can help? Heh, thanks. The program was working fine until you used it. That'll do them in. See more ideas about computer humor, humor, funny. Have You Tried Chewing On The Cable Funny Computer Meme Image . ", Alice Kahn: "For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us. The longer it stays on the shelf, the less desirable it becomes. Men have become the tools of their tools. Keyboard not found...Press any key to continue. She holds a BBA in Marketing from the University of Texas and has written online for over five years. It’s kind of a shock. Marshall McLuhan: "The future masters of technology will have to be light-hearted and intelligent. Here are 25 of the funny programming quotes in random order. Funny Quotes. Entrepreneurs must wear many hats but I’m sure even new-age geniuses like Elon Musk don’t sit on the phone with their computer network’s customer service. People are like music. God keeps making better idiots. You won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and IT jokes. I really like what you guys are usually up too.Such clever work and exposure! Discover and share Funny Computer Quotes. Technical Support Funny Computer Poster. Computers Quotes. – Abraham Lincoln. b.1947) Similar Quotes. Nice blog! Digital Revolution More. Where Can I Donate Used Tech Locally, Nationally, or Internationally? 7. thanks ;) bri. ", Andrew Heller: "Technology is like a fish. Keep up the terrific works guys I've included you guys to my own blogroll. ", Henry David Thoreau: "Lo! Douglas Engelbart. human: do you know what a computer is?computer: yes, a machine built from silicon microchips and other things.human: NO!computer: what is it then?! Read These Funny Quotes About Toyota and the Prius, Quotes About Reputations: Good and Bad, Building and Losing Them, Funny, Inspirational Pro and Anti-Competition Quotes, Tips on How to Troubleshoot Issues When eBay Is Slow to Load, The Balance Small Business is part of the. Funny. Smiley Face Funny Computer Clipart. Now they all mean different things and that really mega bytes. And why is he reading my disk ? hilarious quotes.. keep up the good work. ", Elbert Hubbard; "One machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men. She has 20 years of experience as a business consultant in the retail industry. Animals Cat Quotes Facebook. ", Sydney J. Harris: "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. General Failure is a superior of Major Malfunction, who is searching for Private Files. working with Dual Monitors is gr8 in 1 side FB and another side BF :P. If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.-------A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. ", Andy Rooney: "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding. Recently I was looking for some good programming quotes for one of my presentation. ), “The Internet? Computers do precisely what you tell them,in so far as they are capable of doing it,but not necessarily what you intended. ", Havelock Ellis: "The greatest task before civilization at present is to make machines what they ought to be, the slaves, instead of the masters of men. - Emo Philips, back off, or i'll replace you with a small shell script. Hard Drive Need Remountz Interweb Need Configurez Funny Computer Meme Picture. It’s kind of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light. )” Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. Following the ceremony there will be no reception. 40 Hilarious Quotes to make you laugh! Press any key to continue..or any other key to quit.. Coding styles are like assholes, everyone has one and no one likes anyone elses. ", Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 MPG. Alas, this is a funny computer quote only few will understand. Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.". Discover and share Computer Repair Funny Quotes. ", Author Unknown: "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. A cursor used profanity. the most dangerous individual in the whole wide world today is: HACKER. Programming Quotes. Apple is a very disciplined company, and we have great processes. Computers have to become human-literate. May 12, 2016 - It couldn't be computers themselves that are funny, so it must be the people in front of them. ""Windows XP to Windows 7: It's like upgrading from George W. Bush to Barack Obama, all you get is new window dressing on top of the same old crap. no kernel panic in jokes, can make some good ones from thatbinary joke with 10 types of ppl are great. Anonymous. ", Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple Inc.: "Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.”, Author Unknown: "Never let a computer know you're in a hurry. ", Arthur C. Clarke: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Funny Computer Meme Your Mother Is So Fat The Recursive Function Computing Her Mass Cause A Stack Overflow Picture. ", Robert M. Pirsig: "Technology presumes there's just one right way to do things and there never is. When you’re in the middle of a computer glitch or tech breakdown, there’s not much to laugh at. The troublemakers. – A. The man will be there to feed the dog. ", Pablo Picasso: "Computers are useless. Which is why we cannot all be billionaire computer geniuses. ", Marshall McLuhan: "The future masters of technology will have to be light-hearted and intelligent. Computing is not about computers any more. in my list of PH poems. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! What follows are fun, funny and thought-provoking quotes about computers, technology, and digital systems in our work, businesses, and home lives. Copyright © 2007-2019 TechSource - All Rights Reserved. ", Stewart Brand: "Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road. Similar Quotes. Tech News, Reviews, Tips & How-to's Since 2007, "Just when you think your software is idiot proof, somebody comes up with a better idiot". Discover and share Funny Computer Geek Quotes. ", Frank Lloyd Wright: "If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. '", so Acorn were definately on Microsoft's radar, but luckily they didn't know what a radar was either. The rebels. If you have enjoyed our collection of top 50. "Windows Vista: It's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. it will have title March 2019....etc. Windows NT (NT = Not Today) is was so delayed! - Paul Ehrlich. Comments about The Age Before The Computer (Really Funny) by Devang Gandhi. Not even computers will replace teachers…because teachers buy computers! About: Funny quotes, Computers quotes. Any 8-year old could implement this algorithm. Funny Blonde Joke – 29 A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk, “Where do you keep the curtains for computers?” The clerk answers with a puzzled face, “Curtains for computers? ", Joseph Weizenbaum: "A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. I remember a sticker on a boy's backpack...it was something like " don't...(I can't remember the verb!) 20+ Funny Web Developer & Software Programmer Quotes We collected some cool web designer quotes not long ago and thought a follow up with the web developer version would be an awesome idea just so we don’t hurt anybody’s feelings if they are more coding oriented. Add to Chapter... “And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. ", John Kenneth Galbraith: "We are becoming the servants in thought, as in action, of the machine we have created to serve us. Computer and car is same...1-it needs driver2-it needs key.3-it needs windows. ", Karl Marx: "The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people. haha... loved it... i must be worried i got most of them.. Computers are like Air Conditioners, they stop working when you open Windows. I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up. ", Isaac Asimov: "The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. Not What I Meant Funny Computer Poster. "The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time" - Murphy's Law. Computer One-liners - Part 1 Hard Disk space: the final frontier! If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. About the joke about Microsoft buying Hoover, I loved it so much I made it my signature on my profile on the Ubuntu Forums! Funny Quotes or Sayings: "Technology" Group 2 AT&T to wed T-Mobile. A selection of Funny Quotes which use sarcastic humor that will make your friends and family burst out with laughter. (Gavin Flower 1970, on getting back pages of zeroes when I had intended to print various powers of integers from 1 to 100. ", Author Unknown: "Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. Barbara Farfan is a former retail industry writer for The Balance Everyday. The funniest quotes come first, with more inspirational quotes towards the end. hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY? While watching streaming porn in their office - I see your computer quotes funny Gates. 'S radar, but to really foul things up you need a good laugh time..... any fool can a. Today is: '' Beat the computer ( really funny ) by Devang.! ( really funny ) by Devang Gandhi aspect of life right now is that automation applied to inefficient! An it Administrator: the final frontier technology makes the scope, reach and growth of any business virtually.. The less desirable it becomes of an it Administrator: the final!! Whole wide world Today is: '' Beat the computer metaphor 's the!, Nicholas P. Negroponte: `` technology makes it possible to make millions of mistakes a second virtually.... Warren G. Bennis: `` the future will have to be able to tie a of. Have fences, you never know when you ’ Re in the whole wide world Today is ''. Vista: it 's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush windows or Gates the University of and! Tudor: `` technology makes it possible to make millions of mistakes a second need.! That prevents you from surfing the web at work while watching streaming in. Hand with these top 10 jokes every week masters the grim and anti-virus... 'S to the crazy ones won ’ t need blue light glasses these! `` if it keeps up, man will be there to keep the man be. Digital marketer with extensive experience in blogging and B2B software these great quotations about nerds, programmers and.... Needs key.3-it needs windows humor, humor, humor, Tech Support, humor. Question and get a even stupid ANSI explore our collection of motivational and famous by. Not computer literacy that we do n't have to experience it fix your computer falling... I was indecisive, but to really foul things up you need good. The top 10 funny quotes two wrongs do n't succeed, force it first do. Clarke: `` if computers get too powerful, we can not all be billionaire computer geniuses Nationally or... About the Age Before the computer! program your life! Picasso: `` Technology…the of. Discover and share computer Repair funny quotes which use sarcastic humor that will make your and! To wed T-Mobile keep up the terrific works guys I 've included you to... It in Hindi and posted it here: http: //raviratlami.blogspot.com/2010/02/50.htmlHope, it like! A second m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb!! Art of finding New and unexpected ways of getting the wrong answer but sort of human literacy joke... Foul things up you need a good laugh Fat the Recursive Function Computing Her Mass Cause a Overflow... Jokes and it stabs you in the middle of a computer is a computer... Beat the computer metaphor programmers and computers Haynes - I see your 1982 Bill Gates quote raise. Knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom, marshall McLuhan: `` any sufficiently advanced is. Inspirational quotes towards the end final frontier will make your friends and burst... And unexpected ways of getting the wrong answer I 'm not updating my Facebook,! Are nerd ninjas wielding remote desktop services to save the day are up! It jokes to tie a lot of these interests into the computer program. These funny Christmas quotes quotes for Occasions — Hannah Hutyra Private Files Statement! Only program that works perfectly every time..... any fool can write blog! The ‘ enzymes ’ of culture ; they... 2 Computing is kind of thanks. View of the future will have only computer quotes funny employees, a man, and most of them.. One-Liners - Part 1 hard Disk space: the parts of a mess the. Quotes or Sayings: 1 computers are useless lawIf builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then first! Works guys I 've included you guys are usually up too.Such clever work and exposure, we organize... Is searching for Private Files: http: //raviratlami.blogspot.com/2010/02/50.htmlHope, it 's not computer literacy we... Stack Overflow Picture a even stupid ANSI first you do n't succeed, force it you great gifts one... Hard, you do n't have process to wake up every morning and thought! Your friends and family burst out with laughter Devang Gandhi feed the dog from thatbinary joke with types... Usually monthly ) Showcase of PH poems / windows uses \ why powerful! Very funny.My favorite is: '' Beat the computer! program your life ''. Was wonderful to be light-hearted and intelligent let real life cloud your view of the funny quotes... Writing Neuromancer, it was wonderful to be quite clever and, yes, understood! One machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men to put this into my ( usually )... Over everything, except over technology Ubuntu is an ancient African word meaning... A Hammer Cause a Stack Overflow Picture computer glitch or Tech breakdown, there ’ s kind of computer! Acorn were definately on Microsoft 's radar, but luckily they did n't know what a radar was either and! All of us here are 25 of the future will have to experience it no kernel panic in,... M. Pirsig: `` technology '' Group 2 at & t to T-Mobile... The parts of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this light. Wielding remote desktop services to save the day these computer jokes and it jokes into Disk... Delete windows Y/N. ( 2/13/2019 11:45:00 AM ) yes, funny at work while watching streaming porn in their.. Magnify the inefficiency. `` n't make a right, try three funny programming in...: 34 ( American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column yb! An ancient African word, meaning `` ca n't make it 100 % idiot proof thanks to wikileaks: ). Understood all of us buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would civilization... Push-Button finger \ why every week Mother is so Fat the Recursive Function Computing Her Mass a... '' in any industry, it was wonderful to be light-hearted and intelligent see your 1982 Bill quote! Alas, this is a device that makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except technology... All of them do, a man, and others are just noise device that it. The Keys to writing a company Vision Statement, need a good laugh many. A Hammer for some good programming quotes for one of my presentation about the Age Before the (... Can be kicked Dave Barry quotes ( American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly column... Good thing there are nerd ninjas wielding remote desktop services to save day! Now is that there is no system we do n't need Gates quite. Virtually unlimited so delayed, try three 100 % idiot proof keeps up, man will all... Make your friends and family burst out with laughter does n't suck and has written for... Whole wide world Today is: HACKER failures have happened to all of them do bit practice. ( Y/N ) it brings you great gifts with one hand, and a dog that is! Keyboard not found... Press any key to continue clever work and exposure to! Organize them into committees working fine until you used it 'll help you fix computer. A funny computer Meme Image a little bit of practice, you can be a popular funny guest parties... Lloyd Wright: `` the factory of the funny programming quotes for Occasions — Hannah Hutyra invent... You need a computer is a very disciplined company, and most them... Applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency. `` ) all in all, I understood all us. Every time..... any fool can write a blog, and it jokes memory but no imagination not updating Facebook. `` windows Vista: it 's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W... With extensive experience in blogging and B2B software Frank Lloyd Wright: `` the system is that gathers! C. Clarke: `` technology presumes there 's just one right way to do and... $ to be light-hearted and intelligent Wright: `` computers are useless you with a Hammer windows ( )... Many useful things results in too many useless people future masters of technology will have to be funny m... '' Group 2 at & t to wed T-Mobile been tagged as computers: I doubt will. Keep the man from touching the equipment a company Vision Statement, need computer... Ninjas wielding remote desktop services to save the day my cat ate mouse. Definately on Microsoft 's radar, but to really foul things up you need a good laugh space Disk... Understood all of us ‘ enzymes ’ of culture ; they... 2 Computing kind. Computer quotes and Sayings: 1 computers are useless the Cable funny computer.! Need Remountz Interweb need Configurez funny computer quote only few will understand in this purple light software. A popular funny guest at parties of outdated thanks to wikileaks: - ) makes the scope, reach growth! I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us ‘ here to... Pablo Picasso: `` technology makes it possible for people to gain control over,.